January 16, 1945

“Tell me about her.”

Alfonso has just left, leaving me sitting before Angelo’s desk while he puffs on a cigar, the two of us alone aside from the small pile of cocaine before him. He stares at me calmly, but there’s a hint of challenge in his eyes, as if he’s daring me to lie to him.

I tap my fingers on the armrest, contemplating how much I should divulge.

“You may be my consigliere, Ronnie, but I would hope that you didn’t forget you are my friend—my brother—above all else.”

I sigh. “She’s the love of my life.”

He nods slowly, his gaze studious. “I knew there was something deeper between you two when you defied my orders and prevented Paulie from taking her. Even more so after the party when I saw you sneak after her to the powder room.”

I tighten my lips, disappointed I wasn’t as sly as I had thought I’d been, but certainly not surprised. Even inebriated, Angelo has always had a sharp eye.

“I’ve left you alone on the matter because I had hoped you would come to me if it ever became serious. But I see I was wrong.”

“Angelo—”

“Do you know there’s a certain look to a man when a woman is taking care of him? Since I’ve known you, you’ve always had this”—he twirls his hand, searching for the word—“hardness about you. And for as long as I can remember, I’ve been waiting for the day when a woman would come around and soften you.”

He takes another puff of his cigar. “It appears that day has arrived. And it’s the wife of my accountant, no less.”

“She was mine before he was yours,” I grumble.

“Which is why you saved him. For her.”

I nod once, grinding my teeth. Angelo and I rarely discuss our feelings. While we hide nothing from one another, we rarely discuss our feelings, only divulging emotions that are necessary.

I shift, discomfort wrapping its claws around my bones.

“You love her,” he states plainly. “Since when?”

I sigh and grab a damn cigar from his table, deciding I’m going to need it to get through this conversation. My nose will never touch cocaine, so tobacco it is.

“Since I first saw her, truthfully. We’ve . . . Our affair has been going on for quite some time.”

“And John? Does he know?”

“Of course not. He would—” I clench my jaw, fury constraining my vocal cords for a moment. “He would likely hurt her if he did.”

That has Angelo raising a brow, unimpressed with that new knowledge of John. While my boss hasn’t always been the most faithful, he retains respect for his wife. He’d never lay a hand on her, and despite his occasional infidelity, he treats her like a queen.

“You know Judge Jones would accommodate anything I asked of him—”

“They have a daughter.”

Angelo has a few judges in his pocket, as a matter of fact, and it’s an advantage I’ve considered before. Yet it’s one I haven’t brought up to her, considering how adamant she is to keep her family together. I’ve threatened to kill John on many occasions only because my anger got the best of me and I can’t stand the thought of him drawing breath. But after our argument a few days ago, I don’t know that she even wants to divorce him.

“It’s frowned upon to be a single mother. And she wants Sera to grow up in a home with both parents. She can only think of her daughter, and I can’t blame her,” I continue.

Angelo cocks his head. “Is that the only barrier between you two? She knows what you do, correct?”

“She knows my position, though I do not divulge our business to her. But yes, my job is another point of contention. My lifestyle is dangerous, and she fears for her daughter’s safety.”

He’s quiet for a few beats, staring at me thoughtfully while he takes another puff of his cigar, the jewels of his ring glinting off the overhead lights.

“You understand you’re only my consigliere, yes?”

I frown. “Yes.”

“Which means I do not require you to complete contracts or put yourself in more harm’s way. You’ve made your bones, Ronnie.”

I sigh, understanding where he’s going with this. It’s not my job to whack people, but I do it anyway because of the release it brings me. I enjoy it more than any normal man should. But handling the contracts personally puts me—and my loved ones—in more danger of retaliation.

This life is not one I can leave, but it is one that will allow me to retreat into the shadows, where it’s not only safer for myself but also a family, too.

“Having a family is a strain on the heart for those of us in the position we’re in. We both understand that. But that also means that we make sacrifices to ensure our families stay safe. We make sacrifices to ensure our own happiness.” He finishes his cigar, stubbing it out while piercing me with his stare through the smoke billowing before his face. “Killing offers you relief. But you must decide if ending a life is better than experiencing your own, my friend.”